You Deserve a Break Today, But You’ve Got an Outbreak: McDonald’s Drive-Thru Offers Nasal Swabs

By Alex Parker

Good news for all you in the mood for a Big Mac and a nasal swab: McDonald’s is offering COVID-19 tests in their Drive-Thru.

The location ready to tell you if you’ve got the McVirus — in which case, your lunch may not be a Happy Meal — is in Leicester, England.

And to be clear, there’s also bad news for all you in the mood for a Big Mac and a nasal swab: You can forget the two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun — in the United Kingdom, foodwise, Mickey D’s is shut down.

A chain spokesman told The Sun all about it:

“This week, McDonald’s handed over use of its Meridian Business Park Drive-Thru in Leicester for use by DHU Healthcare for COVID-19 testing for NHS workers. Despite restaurants remaining closed, employees and franchisees have continued serving their local communities and supporting national organizations, helping those that need it the most.”

So for now, nothing from the region’s Golden Arches will be going down your throat; only up your nose.

For some, it won’t be much of a change:

psa: sticking fries up your nose makes you appear 6 years younger pic.twitter.com/pib7WBnQ10
— kayli bardy (@Kayli1220) May 4, 2015

When you put fries up your nose instead of a nose ring #CelebrityAwards2015 One Direction pic.twitter.com/l7x7XwvOEN
— MStyles~FINE LINE🍉 (@MarieStylxs) April 23, 2015

Shove 2 fries up your nose #UniqueWaysToAvoidTheFlu pic.twitter.com/7odLuPXT8j
— Alien T 👽🇨🇦💫 (@alienmagicman) February 25, 2018

If you're a leader at camp & you don't shove French fries up your nose at dinner then are you really a leader?! pic.twitter.com/e1RSpbkPoH
— Emily (@emilyconrad36) June 19, 2016

@ThePerezHilton and you think putting fries up your nose is cool pic.twitter.com/iMJDIDn5HE
— B (@trustbrysons) February 1, 2016

Stuffing French Fries up your nose morphs you into a walrus.#FakeFrenchFriesFacts pic.twitter.com/TNs5iYl1CM
— Teri Maa Ki Jack (@TERIMAAKIJACK) June 3, 2018

Either way, in jolly ol’ England, you can’t get a Quarter Pounder on account of flattening the curve. At the time of this writing, the UK’s seen 148,377 cases and — tragically — 20,319 deaths.

As noted by the New York Post, among those infected have been Prince Charles and Prime Minister Boris Johnson — the latter of whom spent several days in intensive care.

Hopefully, soon everything will return to normal and people can go back to getting ill the old-fashioned way: eating crap.

-ALEX

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